And 'We' kissed.....

And ‘We’ kissed...almost...

‘Aditya’ she said.

I opened my eyes; she was sitting beside me, smiling. Her hand was on my forehead. She was too pure to be touched, too graceful to not to stare. I got up and took a sip of water. She was there smiling at me like a year old baby.

‘How are you?’ she continued with her cutest voice.

After struggling few good minutes, I was still unable to know; where I was. I didn’t recognise the place. But the room was mine. I looked outside the window and found nothing. It was paining me somewhere. I didn’t get, where? She was still there, with her constant smile. I adjusted myself.

‘I am fine’ I replied.

‘I am here to say something to you’ she said and held my hand.

‘It is paining’ I said. I don’t know why I said that to her. She was no doctor. Not even a nurse.

‘I know. That’s why I am here.’

She said and closed my eyes with her hand. She put her hand on my heart. And it was gone. Pain was gone. I was stormed. How she got to know that there was pain in my heart. I was frightened inside; where the fuck I was. I touched her hand. I felt relaxed.

‘You were saying something’ I said. I looked at her. She had a divine glow on her face.

‘I LOVE YOU. I always did. It’s just that we can’t be together.’ She was crying. I had become stoic.

She continued.

‘You think I don’t love you. I do but I am not daring enough to accept this fact. And I think you know why. I always pretended that I don’t love you. I succeed to convince the world but not you. That makes me feel sick about you, about me, about our love. You know we are different from all the couples in the world. I never wanted to hurt you, I always did. That makes me even more miserable. I feel sad about myself because even after loving you, I can’t be with you. Doesn’t matter how hard it is for me to stay away from you. It kills me. Every day, every single moment. ’

I was there looking at her, listening her each and every word silently. I wanted to cry. I didn’t. Her voice was too saturated to be cut in between. Her moist eyes were making her even more adorable.

‘I knew that I was hurting you and you were paining. That’s why I have come here. It’s been a year and a half; Aditya, now please try to get real. You know it’s impossible for us to be together. We can’t hurt many people for the sake of our love. It’s difficult for both of us but we have to do it one day.’

‘No. I can’t’ finally I said something.

‘Yes Aditya, you have to. I am sure power of our love will help you to do so. I am always with you. Always. ’

She hugged me. She was still crying. I could feel her tears on my back. I don’t want to leave her. I held her tight. There was a silence all over. Killing as always. She put herself back and then came close, closer. I could feel her breath. She was so beautiful, so calm, and so resolute. My heart was beating at double speed. I closed my eyes and she said something,

‘Take care. I’ll be always there.’

And...

My alarm rang. I opened my eyes. I was there lying on my bed half naked. It was 7 in the clock in the morning. I looked the room. She was not there. I sat on the chair and then, I smiled. That was a dream. But what a wonderful dream that was...Imagination has its own power to affect someone. I was happy; mine was good. I surely need retribution after what she had done with me. But I never thought this will occur in this magical way. She said all the things that I always wanted to hear from her. It felt good, even in the dream. I am in damn love with her. It’s been One and a half year since we have broken up. In fact we were never in relationship. I was. But she never failed to amaze me even after breaking up. But I don’t want to accept the truth that we will never be together again. I have made my own wonderful world, where we are together and will be together. Always. Forever......

P.S.---> 2 bottles of beer inside you can do miracle. I heard that many a times before but realised that one good day. `180 are not that much to hear I LOVE YOU from someone, for whom you are dying for. Cheers. I will kiss next time. I hope. :)

Seeing 'Her' again...

And ‘I’ fell in love.....again...


It was almost 2 months of vacation, when finally I went to college again. Nothing seemed new. Nothing seemed great. The same gate, same gatekeepers, same Syndicate bank ATM. I entered the gate. There were very few students there and most of them were couples. As always. I passed the A block building. There was new board there being HRIT, written on it. Again I was amazed by the choice of colour, Yellow. I hate that. I entered the B block building. I saw the notice board that was reminding me the very first day of my college, difference being this time I was not struggling to have a look on it. I looked at it,
CSE--- 7th semester----Room no. -----211.
I headed towards my class. The only exciting thing in college this year was; we are now the senior most students in our college. Yes, I was in final year now. Doesn’t matter how I reached there. How much I have lost and how much I have gained? I was busy in calculating the things when my phone rang,
Calling...
The Devil...
A grin was there on my face after seeing his name. After all there are quite a few people who always stood beside me. No matter how difficult the situation was. He was one of them. I picked the phone.
‘Hello.’
‘Where are you, madarchod?’
‘I am right there on stairs, 1 minute.’ I said and cut the phone.
I wonder how these slangs now became vital part of our conversation. The words by which we got furious before 2 year now seem familiar. Things change.
I shook hand and hugged him. There were some more classmates there, Ankit, Ankur, Manish and more. None seemed too happy about reopening of college. First lecture was of Mr. Satish Yadav, possibly the shortest teacher I have seen in my entire life. He was teaching us IWT (Introduction to web technologies). Devil and I were sitting on the last bench and his voice was too weak to be perceived on the last bench. Moreover I was not at all interested in attending the lectures. I was there for ‘Her’. She was not there. 4 lectures passed. I didn’t remember the name of subjects and teachers. All I remembered that I was there for ‘Her’. And destiny deceived me like she did.
This continued for another 4 days, I attended all the lectures waiting for ‘Her’. She didn’t come a single day. I got alert every time when Roll No. 9 was called. May be she is in the class and by mistake I didn’t notice. I knew I was acting childish. Every time I smiled on this childishness. How desperate a man could be even after broken up? I went out of station for one week. Again I went to college in hope of seeing just a glimpse of ‘Her’. Again we were sitting on the last bench. The lecture was of Mr. Sushil. He was appointed for Data Mining. I wonder whether we have to mine the data from the mined beneath our college or what!!! God knows. I promised myself that I will concentrate on study not ‘Her’. Almost whole lecture passed when suddenly Devil said,
‘Here she is.’
I looked outside the gate and there she was walking toward the classroom. I rubbed my eyes to ensure that I was not in dream. I was not. She was real. I kept looking at her until she disappeared.
Whole of my body got rebellion at the same time. My heart refused to take a beat. Lungs refused to take a breath. Eyes refused not to stare at her. Mind refused to accept the fact that I was in the class. And most of all tears refused to be there in my eyes, they fell down. I touched my right cheek, there it is; extent of my happiness of seeing ‘Her’ after a long time. Though I saw ‘Her’ just for few seconds but that was enough for me. Enough to get a heart attack for me. But I was alive, I realised when my name was called Roll No. 2 Aditya and Devil slapped me.
‘Yes Sir.’ I said. He is no more for some time.
I was brought back to reality. Ahhh...Reality hurts the most. I wish I could always be in my dreams; in my sweetest dream with ‘Her’. Where she is all mins, loving me passionately. Calling me by the name she used to call me whenever she feels happy or I feel sad. Spending all of ‘Her’ time with me. Sitting with me in RFP. Saying that she needs me. Saying that she loves me. Feeling sad about the fact that we can’t be together for whole life and feeling sad about it. I love that expression. Reminding me how different we are together. But reality was not that pleasant; she didn’t even look at me once. It hurts, it always did. It always will. She doesn’t love me anymore. Perhaps She never did. And here,
I fell in love...Again...with the same girl ever...


P.S. Tied hair suits her nice and better. Someone must tell her. I can’t.